those damn time voids

8 years and almost 11 pages to go in my writing journal I stopped mid sentence of a short story of a boy haunted by a horrific homunculus type demon. i thought, what the hell was that line from? i then realized i missed out on an anime series filled with the graphic violence which fueled such fiction. padding a few moments through anime database MAL i turned up not a single shred of evidence to the scene playing over and over again in my head.

which surprised me most of all. the details of the animated gif were painted to such accuracy, even the horrible subtitles of the large mouth drag queen monster, but the series remained elusive. eventually i settled on google searching phrase after phrase until i finally fell on the series i was looking for [forum post].

apocalypse zero.

satisfied with the true sherlock level of detective work i had done all on my own, I would only assume one can add it to their list of plan to watch titles before carrying on with the days activities. unfortunately, not such a task existed. seeing as the romaji title in english for apocalypse zero is “Kakugo no Susume”, i assumed the title would be translated in my MAL list as english.

neither the title existed on my collection of finished titles, so i assumed i had not watched the film yet. of course, i had seen a small segment here or there but then, the film categorized in the wonderful list of “Plan to watch” which is about the equivalent of telling a child you will buy a piece of candy for them the next time that you happen to do your grocery shopping. The child’s attention span in that moment is the temporary happiness of owning that product, a new, undiscovered plaything that inspires them to nag you incessantly until either their will is diminished or you forcefully remove them from the store. in this case, my child of unsettled needs exceeded some 40 titles.


while the absolute number of titles is not as horrific as a child screaming for an item that will bemused them for mere seconds before they whine and cry about some other magnificent discovery. my list on the other hand stems from a bit more dedication on my part. many of the series or shows i have added only account for one season or one direction from a single production company. let alone the insurmountable episode count in front of most series as anime includes formulaic filler, crowd pleasing and pandering doubles my total watching experience to over 700 hours of anime to watch. which is pretty gracious when i exclude outside influence, being my actual viewing time, availability of episodes to watch and sleep or work.

and now i have distracted myself from finishing another page in my rough draft book to type on how anime is a massive time and energy expense.


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