Her – A little too close

I have a crush on Scarlett Johanssen. There I said it.

Although I failed to see earlier pieces of her work around the time of being a teenager (Ghost World), I only recently followed her with the likes of Iron Man 2. I’m a fan of Joaquin Phoenix as well, I thoroughly enjoyed Walk the line.

Then I popped in the movie Her.

Was this a letter to individuals such as myself?

In confession, I feel isolated, critical and even lonely. As pitiful as I feel some of the time, most of my anguish I express in writing. I’ve spent the better half of my life sticking my nose in books or a notebook to express vicariously the extremes of my frustrations, fears and desires. For the latter part of a few years I stuck to the genres that I knew and beloved. At the beginning, Poke’mon or Pocket monsters were a collectable phenomenon, but only the priviledge and dedicated attended tournaments, traded monsters and cleared versions Red & Blue. Technology or gaming systems appeared out of reach at my age and the only resuable game market to speak of was the printed pages of the FuncoLand binder accompanied with a strict glare from the store employee.

options were severely limited, being on a budget, I opted to turn our family computer into an emulation machine. The process of running Snes9x or Znes in earlier iterations of Windows XP appeared daunting, ontop of my misunderstanding of how virus’ work I more often than not destroyed the hard drives of several machines. I would not be disuaded however, moving on to emulating full time on both gameboy and gameboy advanced devices straight from the computer.

I didn’t have the luxury of hand-held, but I would play those games if I so desired.

But, what did that focus on working the game accomplish? seeing as I had no reason anymore to socialize with other like minded individuals in person, I became isolated on my own  goals. attempting to grow closer to experience as possible. In all the energy expended getting games to ‘work’, other normal parts of the adolescent experience proved harder to control or even curb.

Soon, the online friendships of those I spent years cultivating either moved on to games less influenced by emulation and designed for the PC platform in mind. PC Gaming became a small niche , given my inexperience and lack of funds, I fell behind due to once again a lack of money. I dabbled in every bit the online world has to offer an individual.

Including ‘love’.

One aspect missing from a computer screen is a voice. You can find one, you can find small applications that randomly generate emotions or responses from movements on screen. In the movie ‘her’, the operating system is different. Unlike the experiences I have in the past, the universe Theodore resides in blends said technology into a medium everyone has access too. The experience is not completely isolated to one group or another, which can be quite intoxicating to a lowly individual.

A disembodied voice that engages you on a personal, fun level. A medium that is your companion, your friend. While watching ‘Her’ I could not help but whisper, “Yes, yes this is the experience I want.” Then reality came crashing in. The film went to regions I’ve experienced in the past.

Before sex-ting, even ‘cybering’ there was phone sex or dirty pen-pals.

with a penpal, there is some build up of emotions. with a phone call, there is a connection I often prefer over face to face interaction.

Scarlett has a wonderful voice, most women do. There tone can be infectious, intoxicating and there words chosen are impossibly biting. Innocent, I could lose myself in the conversations and the weight or heat of their emotions. some of the time i find myself listening to the interplay between the two characters in the film on my way home from work or in moments of solace.

I suppose you ask yourself questions when a movie hits in the deepest depths no one else is supposed to know about. You find yourself questioning, “do I treat women that way?”

“Am I distant? Destructive with a penchant for discarding the opposite sex once we’re past the honey moon phase?”

in the gentle press of a amber light, samantha woke an otherwise worldly thinking theadore from his sleep. i had this conversation before. we feel off, there hasn’t been the encouraging, refreshing notion of sex lately and she’s worried. assurances that these things happen, then another man comes in to their lives and he’s more interesting than you are.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s